Tuesday, January 24, 2006

C'est Difficile

So basically, what prompted the previous post is that the problems we'd experienced when Tammy was home over new years kept getting worse. She developed a nasty rash and monday night that week they catheterized her to try and help her heal. That pretty much confined her to bed and kept her miserable, and it was quite depressing for both of us. I was looking forward to taking Tammy to the company holiday party that weekend (in january, oh boy... how politically correct) and it began to look like I wouldn't be able to. (The previous year when I could have, I deliberately didn't... what the hell was I thinking?)

On Thursday that week she was even worse than before the catheter and they sent cultures to the lab to find out what was wrong. Tammy was so weak and fragile that night... for the most part I've felt like I've been able to accept her inevitable demise, but that night it just really hit me and put me into quite a funk. I held out the hope that the tests would come back alright, but found out on saturday that she was positive for a bacterial infection called C. Difficile.

I lost all drive and at 6:15 that evening after the holiday party cocktails had started, I was still sitting on the couch watching tv and text messaging a friend. She basically told me to get off my ass and go anyways, I did and managed to get there only a little bit late for dinner. I ended up enjoying the party and staying to the very end (which came early on account of the dj sucking), then afterwards drove some friends home and hung out at their place until the wee hours of the morning. Thanks Tree!

In the past two weeks I've been visiting Tam a lot more than I had been lately, though I didn't make it in this weekend due to lack of motivation on saturday, and then wound up clubbing saturday night and all through sunday for a friend's birthday. Woops. I was there last night again though and Tam, while doing much better, is still in isolation and feeling the effects. I read her a chapter from a James Herriot book we've been working on and for the first time she actually fell asleep while I was reading to her, she's still that exhausted. Sigh... I can't wait for her to be better so I can have her at home again for awhile. Who'd have thought I'd be saying that?

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